1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:50,326 The Bluemooners. 3 00:00:52,885 --> 00:00:56,231 With the stars, Maddie Hayes... 4 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,398 ...David Addison... 5 00:01:00,462 --> 00:01:03,171 ...Agnes DiPesto... 6 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:06,006 ...and Richard Addison. 7 00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:17,917 -You all right in there? -Alice, are you okay? 8 00:01:18,082 --> 00:01:20,155 Oh, some day, Alice, some day. 9 00:01:23,588 --> 00:01:26,832 -Hey, Ralph. -Alice? 10 00:01:26,992 --> 00:01:29,472 Gosh, Ed, what should we do? 11 00:01:29,628 --> 00:01:32,610 I don't know. Maybe we can take a couple of those kitchen chairs... 12 00:01:32,766 --> 00:01:34,905 ...put them next to the door and hear better. 13 00:01:35,068 --> 00:01:38,607 You want me to stop yelling, Alice? I'll stop yelling. 14 00:01:38,773 --> 00:01:40,946 I'll stop yelling. I'm not the one yelling. 15 00:01:41,109 --> 00:01:44,023 On my yard Alice! Do you hear me? Do you hear me Alice? 16 00:01:44,714 --> 00:01:48,684 Of course I hear you, Ralph, all five boroughs hear you. 17 00:01:48,851 --> 00:01:50,491 Hi, Ed. Hi, Trixie. 18 00:01:50,721 --> 00:01:53,201 Trixie! What are you doing here? Don't you know we are having a fight? 19 00:01:53,357 --> 00:01:56,271 -Can't you see we're having a fight? -Don't mind us. 20 00:01:59,297 --> 00:02:02,801 No, he didn't wake us up. We were out for our evening constitutional. 21 00:02:02,968 --> 00:02:04,812 Well, you woke me up. 22 00:02:04,972 --> 00:02:07,885 -Why are you kids fighting? -You wanna know why we're fighting? 23 00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:11,078 You wanna know why we're fighting? I'll tell you why we're fighting. 24 00:02:11,244 --> 00:02:15,126 I will tell you why we are fighting. 25 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:20,165 -I don't know why we're fighting. -You know why we're fighting, Ralph. 26 00:02:20,321 --> 00:02:22,323 We're fighting because I asked you a question. 27 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,267 Is that such a crime, Ralph, me asking you a question? 28 00:02:28,097 --> 00:02:30,477 "Is it such a crime, Ralph, asking a question?" 29 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,911 Tell her what the question was 30 00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:34,640 All right, I Will. 31 00:02:34,805 --> 00:02:37,980 I told him I wanted to know where our relationship was going. 32 00:02:38,143 --> 00:02:40,248 That's it! You see that? You see that? 33 00:02:40,412 --> 00:02:43,792 She wants to know where the relationship is going. 34 00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:48,763 She has the unmitigated gall to ask me where the relationship is going. 35 00:02:48,923 --> 00:02:50,595 You want to know where it's going? 36 00:02:50,757 --> 00:02:53,967 You want to know where the relationship is going. 37 00:02:54,128 --> 00:02:57,042 I'll tell you where it's going. it's going to the moon. 38 00:03:33,942 --> 00:03:36,320 I slept good last night. How about you? 39 00:03:36,645 --> 00:03:38,818 Okay. I had this weird dream. 40 00:03:38,981 --> 00:03:41,052 Oh, yeah? What was it about? 41 00:03:41,216 --> 00:03:44,460 -I don't know. it's no big deal. -Listen, I was thinking... 42 00:03:44,621 --> 00:03:47,124 ...maybe I should bring a couple of my things over here. 43 00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:48,896 You know, just to have. 44 00:03:50,628 --> 00:03:53,508 Not that I mind shaving with a pink razor, mind you. 45 00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:55,166 What do you think about that? 46 00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,307 Funny you should mention that. 47 00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:02,716 I was just thinking maybe we should knock this whole thing off. 48 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:15,232 Something tells me you didn't sleep as well as I did. 49 00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:17,461 I just don't see where this is going, David... 50 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:21,005 ...where our relationship is going. Tell me where it's going, David. 51 00:04:21,164 --> 00:04:23,371 What do you mean, where is our relationship going? 52 00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:25,411 I don't know where. it's going somewhere. 53 00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,551 -I know we got one. -Well, I don't. 54 00:04:28,805 --> 00:04:31,482 You wanna know where it's going, that's what the problem is? 55 00:04:31,642 --> 00:04:34,090 Okay, I will tell you where the relationship is going. 56 00:04:34,247 --> 00:04:35,783 -it's going to be-- -To the moon. 57 00:04:35,948 --> 00:04:37,893 -What? -I'm sorry. 58 00:04:38,051 --> 00:04:40,189 You were just gonna tell me just where our relationship is going 59 00:04:40,353 --> 00:04:42,833 Well no, I don't know... I mean... 60 00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:46,198 I was gonna guess. 61 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,897 I mean-- 62 00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:52,069 I mean, I was gonna suggest. Like this morning, just now. 63 00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:55,738 I said, what about if I bring a couple things over here? 64 00:04:55,905 --> 00:04:57,907 Now, that's the relationship going somewhere. 65 00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:02,221 But it is. Look-- 66 00:05:03,113 --> 00:05:05,117 For the last three, three and a half weeks... 67 00:05:05,282 --> 00:05:08,229 ...we have had this relationship that is built around the bedroom. 68 00:05:08,386 --> 00:05:10,367 What if I bring a couple things over here? 69 00:05:10,522 --> 00:05:13,231 A couple towels, a razor, toothbrush. 70 00:05:13,393 --> 00:05:16,033 Then we got the relationship moving into the bathroom. 71 00:05:16,196 --> 00:05:18,541 A couple weeks from now I'll bring a six pack... 72 00:05:18,699 --> 00:05:21,943 ...stick it in the fridge, bingo, now we're downstairs. 73 00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:24,105 Got the relationship moving into the kitchen. 74 00:05:24,272 --> 00:05:26,308 That's how it works, it takes time. 75 00:05:26,475 --> 00:05:29,615 Soon every room in this house will be filled with this relationship. 76 00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:32,316 And then you're gonna have to get a bigger house. 77 00:05:32,949 --> 00:05:34,451 We don't have a relationship. 78 00:05:34,617 --> 00:05:36,528 -Sure, we do. -No. No, we don't. 79 00:05:36,686 --> 00:05:38,827 We have something else. it's not a relationship. 80 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:41,992 It's more like some sordid foreign movie. 81 00:05:42,459 --> 00:05:46,637 That. That's it. That's all we ever do. That's the whole thing. 82 00:05:46,799 --> 00:05:48,835 Every day, I wake up, swear to myself... 83 00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:51,002 ...that what happened won't happen again. 84 00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:54,709 We drive separate cars to work. We act aloof from each other all day. 85 00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:57,412 We say goodnight at 5:30 86 00:05:57,577 --> 00:06:00,023 ...I don't know how it happens, but we end up together. 87 00:06:00,181 --> 00:06:02,718 Your place, my place, the car. The walls are different... 88 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,194 ...but nothing else is. This isn't a relationship... 89 00:06:05,353 --> 00:06:07,492 ...it's a bad habit. 90 00:06:09,292 --> 00:06:11,362 There's your taxi. You better hurry up. 91 00:06:11,961 --> 00:06:14,168 Wait a second. That's it? End of conversation? 92 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,674 -You're just walking out? -I'm not. This is my house. 93 00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:19,040 I don't mean that. I mean, we have a relationship. 94 00:06:19,202 --> 00:06:22,116 No, we don't. A relationship starts small and builds. 95 00:06:22,273 --> 00:06:25,653 Grows. Goes somewhere. You meet someone. Go out on dates. 96 00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:27,654 You discover you have something in common. 97 00:06:27,813 --> 00:06:30,590 We've never been on a date. All we do is thrash at each other. 98 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,196 We're talking primo thrashing. 99 00:06:32,352 --> 00:06:35,163 John Deere doesn't a build machine that thrashes as good we do. 100 00:06:35,321 --> 00:06:37,394 -Excuse me. -Okay. All right, look. 101 00:06:37,692 --> 00:06:40,697 I'll admit it. Maybe we have been doing things out of order here. 102 00:06:40,863 --> 00:06:43,605 We, us, Maddie, but that's not strange. 103 00:06:43,764 --> 00:06:45,803 Haven't you ever skipped to the last chapter? 104 00:06:45,968 --> 00:06:47,845 Fast-forwarded past boring parts of a tape. 105 00:06:48,003 --> 00:06:50,381 Skipped the entree and gone right to the dessert? 106 00:06:52,475 --> 00:06:55,855 -Just tell me what to do and I will do it. -I don't know what to do. 107 00:06:56,012 --> 00:06:58,857 I just know I don't wanna keep doing this. 108 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,203 Blue Moon Detective Agency. 109 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,368 We've been here three years taking care of your woes. 110 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:16,208 Finding lost persons telling unfaithful bows 111 00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:18,680 And I have a birthday I' m offering a deal 112 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,286 and I solve your murder we buy you a meal 113 00:07:21,443 --> 00:07:23,821 A night on the town, just a little gift from us. 114 00:07:23,979 --> 00:07:27,518 When there's murder in your life give us your business. 115 00:07:28,252 --> 00:07:30,755 You must be 18 or over to receive free gift. 116 00:07:30,921 --> 00:07:32,525 Murder subject to verification. 117 00:07:32,689 --> 00:07:36,103 Attempted murders, bogus suicides and deaths by natural causes... 118 00:07:36,261 --> 00:07:38,001 ...are all exempted from this promotion. 119 00:07:38,162 --> 00:07:41,804 Clients found guilty of the murders we investigate are also excluded. 120 00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:44,174 Void where prohibited bylaw. 121 00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:47,274 Please hold. Good morning, Miss Hayes. 122 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,420 If you say so. 123 00:08:23,649 --> 00:08:25,424 Come in. 124 00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,901 Happy anniversary. 125 00:08:41,705 --> 00:08:45,049 Happy anniversary. Three years ago today... 126 00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:49,282 ...City of Angels Investigations became Blue Moon Detective Agency. 127 00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:51,654 Oh, goodie. 128 00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:56,690 Miss Hayes, are you all right? 129 00:08:56,855 --> 00:08:58,392 I'm fine. 130 00:09:00,893 --> 00:09:04,705 -Okay. -Okay. 131 00:09:10,069 --> 00:09:12,983 -Miss Hayes? -Miss DiPesto. 132 00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:16,322 I know you're worried about me, but there's nothing to worry about. 133 00:09:16,478 --> 00:09:20,622 I'm just having a small nervous breakdown, that's all. 134 00:09:21,817 --> 00:09:25,231 And if it's all right with you, I'd like to do it in private. 135 00:09:25,389 --> 00:09:27,596 -Okay. -Okay. 136 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,836 Mr. Addi-- 137 00:10:02,866 --> 00:10:04,208 Is she in there? 138 00:10:05,135 --> 00:10:06,637 VVhere's her head? 139 00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:10,144 Under some upholstery. 140 00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:13,182 She's acting very strange. How can you tell? 141 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,115 Is there something going on between the two of you? 142 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,888 Sometimes yes, sometimes no. 143 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,794 -Wish me luck. -Mr. Addison? 144 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,734 Relax! Going to announce myself. Hi kids! 145 00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:29,400 These need a little sun. 146 00:10:52,324 --> 00:10:53,565 Those for me? 147 00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:55,704 Hi. 148 00:10:56,463 --> 00:11:00,467 Yeah, I saw them and they made me think of you. 149 00:11:00,634 --> 00:11:02,012 Thanks. 150 00:11:06,006 --> 00:11:07,385 They're plastic. 151 00:11:08,408 --> 00:11:11,151 Yeah, well, I asked the guy for low-maintenance flowers. 152 00:11:11,312 --> 00:11:16,354 I understand how busy you are and what you have on your mind. 153 00:11:16,521 --> 00:11:18,227 Anything else? 154 00:11:18,388 --> 00:11:19,661 That's all I brought you. 155 00:11:19,823 --> 00:11:22,429 No, I mean do you have anything else to say, or is that it? 156 00:11:22,592 --> 00:11:23,833 No. 157 00:11:25,396 --> 00:11:28,434 Just that you look sad. You look so sad. 158 00:11:30,603 --> 00:11:32,446 I mean, you look great. 159 00:11:32,906 --> 00:11:36,218 -Just really look sad. -What can I say? I am sad. 160 00:11:37,377 --> 00:11:38,881 Right. 161 00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:45,191 I don't understand, because I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. 162 00:11:45,352 --> 00:11:48,857 -Well, I'm happy you're happy. -I'm sad you're sad. 163 00:11:52,061 --> 00:11:55,009 -Well. -Well. 164 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,920 Not that all this isn't fair... Look! 165 00:12:04,076 --> 00:12:05,919 I have to say this to you. You were right. 166 00:12:06,078 --> 00:12:08,149 There are a lot of things that are wrong with-- 167 00:12:08,314 --> 00:12:10,726 This thing that we're in, this "relationship". 168 00:12:10,883 --> 00:12:13,295 We don't have a relationship, David, that's the point. 169 00:12:13,452 --> 00:12:16,491 It's very screwed up, all right? But it's not all my fault. 170 00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:19,361 A lot of it is my fault, but it is not all my-- 171 00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:21,201 Fault is not the issue here. 172 00:12:21,361 --> 00:12:25,003 Fault is not what this is about. This is about whether a thing is right... 173 00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,237 ...between two people, whether it works, David. 174 00:12:27,402 --> 00:12:28,780 This thing, us, does not work. 175 00:12:28,938 --> 00:12:30,610 -How would you know? -How would I know? 176 00:12:30,773 --> 00:12:32,615 How would you know? You weren't there. 177 00:12:32,774 --> 00:12:36,018 -You never gave yourself to this thing. -Never gave myself to this thing? 178 00:12:36,179 --> 00:12:39,184 Who was lying beside you, on top of you, underneath you? 179 00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:40,888 -So what? -So what?! 180 00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,795 I've got news for you, pal. Unlike most of those wishbones... 181 00:12:43,954 --> 00:12:47,459 ...you call women that you've known for most of your life, I don't do that. 182 00:12:47,627 --> 00:12:51,667 Didn't give myself to this thing? If I gave any more of myself to this... 183 00:12:51,832 --> 00:12:54,643 ...I'd be inside out. And what do you mean, "how do I know?" 184 00:12:54,802 --> 00:12:57,578 How do I know? I know because I was there, David. 185 00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,446 I saw the iceberg hit the Titanic. 186 00:12:59,607 --> 00:13:01,780 I saw the Hindenburg burst into flames. 187 00:13:01,943 --> 00:13:04,116 |t's a disaster. We're a disaster. 188 00:13:04,279 --> 00:13:06,261 No, no, no. You're a disaster. I'm euphoric. 189 00:13:06,414 --> 00:13:08,020 -Stop it. -I'm delirious. 190 00:13:08,184 --> 00:13:09,526 -Stop yelling. -I'm very happy. 191 00:13:09,685 --> 00:13:11,257 Well, I feel empty inside! 192 00:13:13,658 --> 00:13:15,534 I do. 193 00:13:15,993 --> 00:13:17,869 And I don't know what to do about it. 194 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,840 Well... 195 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,914 ...I do. 196 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,620 -Let's start over. -What? 197 00:13:33,982 --> 00:13:37,089 Start over. Go on a date. Talk. Things you were saying this morning. 198 00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:39,899 The thought of sleeping alone destroys you, doesn't it? 199 00:13:40,056 --> 00:13:42,468 I don't believe it! It's not about sleeping with you 200 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,229 I don't want to sleep with you. 201 00:13:45,529 --> 00:13:47,372 OK, I like sleeping with you, alright? 202 00:13:47,531 --> 00:13:49,373 But if I don't do it, that's okay too. 203 00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:52,013 We're not talking about that. We're talking about you... 204 00:13:52,169 --> 00:13:54,740 ...allowing yourself to be happy and letting someone know. 205 00:13:54,905 --> 00:13:58,753 You won't let yourself be happy. You won't commit. 206 00:13:58,944 --> 00:14:02,017 We sleep together in secret. We show up to work in different cars. 207 00:14:02,182 --> 00:14:04,184 We got more pacts than the Geneva Convention. 208 00:14:04,351 --> 00:14:07,059 -You're avoiding the issue. -How come nobody knows about us? 209 00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:09,895 We 've been doing what we 've doing for 4 weeks and nobody knows about it. 210 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:13,062 -Who would you like to know? -I know that office is gossip central. 211 00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,699 News flies faster there than on CNN, and nobody, not even Di Pesto, knows. 212 00:14:16,864 --> 00:14:18,675 -Why should she know? -Why shouldn't she? 213 00:14:18,835 --> 00:14:20,780 -VVhat's your point? -I think you're ashamed. 214 00:14:20,937 --> 00:14:23,645 -Or you're embarrassed. -You want me to go into the office... 215 00:14:23,806 --> 00:14:25,843 ...and announce that we're sleeping together? 216 00:14:27,244 --> 00:14:30,158 -You're nuts. -I'm happy. I want someone to know. 217 00:14:30,315 --> 00:14:32,352 And I want you to want someone to know. 218 00:14:32,517 --> 00:14:36,589 -I've had enough of this conversation. -Fine, I'll just go tell them myself then. 219 00:14:37,155 --> 00:14:38,601 -No, you're not. -Yes, I am. 220 00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:40,704 -No, you're not. -Oh, yes, I-- 221 00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:42,099 No, you're not. 222 00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:45,640 Yes, I am. 223 00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:49,405 Hey. 224 00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:56,221 Excuse me, everyone, I have to be... 225 00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:01,093 -...going now. -Block that door. 226 00:15:04,422 --> 00:15:05,661 Don't you dare. 227 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,927 Don't worry, her bark's worse than her bite. 228 00:15:08,091 --> 00:15:11,164 I 've a little anouncement to make! A little piece of news. 229 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,740 -Don't do it, David. -See that lady there? 230 00:15:13,899 --> 00:15:15,345 David. 231 00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:16,808 I think... 232 00:15:17,804 --> 00:15:20,114 ...that I have fallen madly... 233 00:15:20,908 --> 00:15:24,787 ...and completely head-over-heels in love with her. 234 00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,456 Yeah. 235 00:15:36,392 --> 00:15:37,929 So. 236 00:15:39,462 --> 00:15:42,637 Given that, what do you think? 237 00:15:43,668 --> 00:15:45,807 Maybe me and you can go out on a date? 238 00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:48,975 Just a regular pick you up at 7:30, home by 11 :30... 239 00:15:49,141 --> 00:15:51,553 A little food, maybe a movie 240 00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:52,983 I mean .... 241 00:15:54,046 --> 00:15:55,650 You think, maybe? 242 00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:05,769 Yeah. I think maybe, yeah. 243 00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:11,675 Well, I guess I better go now. 244 00:16:45,207 --> 00:16:47,015 Why am I doing this? 245 00:16:47,175 --> 00:16:50,350 Why am I putting myself through this? I ought to have my head examined. 246 00:16:50,512 --> 00:16:52,389 Well, if you insist. 247 00:16:53,816 --> 00:16:56,388 That's a rather hostile greeting, wouldn't you say? 248 00:16:56,554 --> 00:16:57,964 -Who are you? -Me? 249 00:16:58,121 --> 00:17:00,796 Why, I'm Dr. Joyce Brothers, of course. 250 00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:03,734 Dr. Joyce Brothers. What are you doing here? 251 00:17:03,894 --> 00:17:06,671 Oh, come now, Maddie. I'm not really here. 252 00:17:06,831 --> 00:17:09,107 I'm a figment of your imagination. 253 00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:12,875 I exist, or rather my image exists, because of your own... 254 00:17:13,039 --> 00:17:16,146 ...repressed need to discuss your fears and anxieties. 255 00:17:17,143 --> 00:17:19,954 Well, let's discuss them. 256 00:17:20,113 --> 00:17:22,650 Earlier I heard you ask, "Why am I doing this? 257 00:17:22,816 --> 00:17:24,991 Why am I putting myself through this?" 258 00:17:25,154 --> 00:17:27,634 Why do you think you're doing this, Maddie? 259 00:17:27,791 --> 00:17:30,772 I don't know. If I knew, I wouldn't ask the question. 260 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:34,739 Well, do you like David? Do you like spending time with him? 261 00:17:34,898 --> 00:17:36,139 I don't know. 262 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,312 Let's backtrack. Let's assume you have a relationship... 263 00:17:39,469 --> 00:17:41,678 ...the two of you. Want a relationship. 264 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,617 Let's examine what a relationship means. 265 00:17:44,777 --> 00:17:47,587 Is this the man you want to be with? 266 00:17:47,745 --> 00:17:50,659 -I don't know -Is this the man you can imagine... 267 00:17:50,816 --> 00:17:53,764 -...spending the rest of your life with? -I don't know. 268 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,764 Is this the man that you can have children with? 269 00:17:56,923 --> 00:17:58,165 Have a home with? 270 00:17:58,326 --> 00:18:02,968 A man who can live with. Love with. Perhaps even die with. 271 00:18:03,131 --> 00:18:06,170 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 272 00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:09,750 I sense your discomfort and your frustration. 273 00:18:09,906 --> 00:18:11,681 Let me take another tack. 274 00:18:11,942 --> 00:18:14,013 What are the two of you like in bed? 275 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:16,885 Is that a satisfying part of your relationship? 276 00:18:17,047 --> 00:18:21,395 Are you taking pleasure in it? Are your needs being fulfilled? 277 00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:26,060 Well, actually, that's the one thing that is great. 278 00:18:26,426 --> 00:18:29,840 Yeah, I mean, sure, I'm satisfied. 279 00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:32,204 I take pleasure. 280 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,579 And my needs, or those needs, are always fulfilled. 281 00:18:37,739 --> 00:18:40,413 Well, then, I don't get it, girl, what's the problem? 282 00:18:42,577 --> 00:18:46,082 This is it, David. D-day. 283 00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:49,195 No RandB. 284 00:18:49,651 --> 00:18:52,294 No bodily noises. 285 00:18:52,455 --> 00:18:54,596 No lewd remarks. 286 00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,171 You're going to charm the pantyhose off her. 287 00:18:59,631 --> 00:19:02,613 Stepping out with the new and improved... 288 00:19:04,002 --> 00:19:08,214 ...little more reserved David Addison. 289 00:19:12,378 --> 00:19:14,189 Loafers. 290 00:19:20,888 --> 00:19:22,129 What you say? 291 00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,362 Hit the road, Dave And don't you come back 292 00:19:24,526 --> 00:19:27,098 No more, no more, no more, no more 293 00:19:27,263 --> 00:19:31,680 Hit the road, Dave And don't you come back no more 294 00:19:32,335 --> 00:19:34,907 Now, Dave, listen, Dave Can't believe what you say 295 00:19:35,072 --> 00:19:37,552 You're gonna live To regret it some day 296 00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:40,020 Don 't care if he does Because he understand 297 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,888 If he ain't got what it takes Then he just ain't a man 298 00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:45,326 Well, I guess if you say so 299 00:19:45,486 --> 00:19:47,397 You ought to pack your things And blow 300 00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:49,396 Thatis right Hit the road, Dave 301 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:53,164 And don't you come back No more, no more, no more, no more 302 00:19:53,328 --> 00:19:56,640 Hit the road, Dave And don't you come back no more 303 00:19:57,766 --> 00:20:01,772 Don 't you come back no more Don 't you come back no more 304 00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:06,820 Don 't you come back no more 305 00:20:09,279 --> 00:20:11,759 Hey, Addison, what's all this trash you talking? 306 00:20:14,585 --> 00:20:17,498 Ray Charles? In my living room? 307 00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:20,431 Why, is that where I am? 308 00:20:21,761 --> 00:20:23,137 What are you doing here, man? 309 00:20:23,296 --> 00:20:27,211 -Talking to some fool. -Some fool. 310 00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:30,415 -Me, a fool? -Yeah, you fool. 311 00:20:30,572 --> 00:20:33,075 I can't believe what a brother is saying. 312 00:20:33,241 --> 00:20:36,018 "Don't make her" this. "Don't make her" that. 313 00:20:36,179 --> 00:20:41,562 And "l can be her kind of man." I mean, I'm ashamed of you, son. 314 00:20:42,518 --> 00:20:44,294 -Ashamed of me, Ray? -Ashamed. 315 00:20:44,455 --> 00:20:46,594 Ashamed for you... 316 00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:49,796 ...and for all of us who don't have to put the toilet seat down. 317 00:20:50,594 --> 00:20:52,598 Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 318 00:20:52,765 --> 00:20:54,904 I was just trying to make a good impression. 319 00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,841 Good impression, hell. 320 00:21:00,406 --> 00:21:06,723 David, oh are you happy David??? 321 00:21:09,217 --> 00:21:11,892 The poor boy's done lost his head 322 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:17,167 Lost his head 323 00:21:17,327 --> 00:21:21,401 Just to get that girl, I believe 324 00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:26,236 He 'd turn over and play dead 325 00:21:27,671 --> 00:21:30,675 And play dead 326 00:21:30,842 --> 00:21:33,288 Hold! Hold! Hold! Hold it! I play what? 327 00:21:33,445 --> 00:21:35,427 Play dead? 328 00:21:35,582 --> 00:21:38,790 Look, Ray, I'm a big fan and all but I ain't gotta listen to this, man. 329 00:21:39,285 --> 00:21:40,788 You know what I'm talking about. 330 00:21:40,955 --> 00:21:43,093 No, I don't. And I ain't playing nothing. 331 00:21:43,258 --> 00:21:46,763 -And I'm in control. -Control? Excuse me. 332 00:21:46,927 --> 00:21:49,000 I'm the kind of guy that knows what he wants... 333 00:21:49,164 --> 00:21:51,040 ...and knows what he's gotta do to get it. 334 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,774 -Oh, yeah, what's that? -The right thing for once. 335 00:21:56,105 --> 00:21:59,986 I'm gonna do what I want for me. 336 00:22:00,745 --> 00:22:03,625 -For us. -For us? 337 00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:08,060 -Hey, girls, I think he's got that sound. -Wait, hold it, hold it. What sound? 338 00:22:08,220 --> 00:22:12,258 Sound like the man has already given the girl his car keys... 339 00:22:12,423 --> 00:22:14,427 -Car keys. -...his checkbook... 340 00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,699 ...his remote control. 341 00:22:16,863 --> 00:22:18,865 Sounds like, just to make a little whoopee... 342 00:22:19,032 --> 00:22:21,239 -Whoopee. -...he's willing to be married alive. 343 00:22:22,403 --> 00:22:24,542 Hey! Wait a minute! Wait a second! 344 00:22:24,705 --> 00:22:27,619 VVho's talking about marriage? You hear me talking about marriage? 345 00:22:27,776 --> 00:22:30,279 -Forget marriage, man. -Marriage is not all that bad. 346 00:22:30,445 --> 00:22:33,017 As a matter of fact, that's not even the bad part. 347 00:22:33,549 --> 00:22:35,961 -What is? -The trade. 348 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,497 -The trade? -The trade. 349 00:22:38,655 --> 00:22:42,035 You know, whatever you're willing to give up. 350 00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:45,599 Once you fix a tomcat, you can't unfix him. 351 00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:49,267 You're way off, Ray, you're not even close. 352 00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:52,882 Look, just because a man's willing to shave a little style off his program... 353 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,018 ...don't mean anything else is cut off. 354 00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:57,519 -Oh, my, did you hear that? -I don't know about that. 355 00:22:57,677 --> 00:23:00,556 It don't sound like the Dave Addison I know, does it, girls? 356 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:01,955 -No. -No. 357 00:23:02,117 --> 00:23:03,959 The Dave Addison I know would tell her: 358 00:23:04,118 --> 00:23:06,725 "Hey, you gonna get down with me nice and dirty... 359 00:23:06,888 --> 00:23:09,368 -...or you don't get down at all." -Yeah. That's right. 360 00:23:09,524 --> 00:23:11,435 The David Addison I know Would say 361 00:23:11,593 --> 00:23:15,737 "Hey, if it ain't good to you today, just wait until tomorrow." Ain't that right? 362 00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:19,508 The David Addison I know Would say 363 00:23:19,671 --> 00:23:25,552 Come on and treat me wrong Come and love me all night long 364 00:23:27,647 --> 00:23:30,025 Tell me what'd I say, baby 365 00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:42,002 Yeah, baby 366 00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:43,875 An right 367 00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:45,777 I know you, baby 368 00:23:46,168 --> 00:23:48,044 Just won't do 369 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:51,850 Come on, do it right, girl Said you're doing it right 370 00:23:52,542 --> 00:23:55,615 But it's all right Say it's all right 371 00:23:56,846 --> 00:23:58,327 An right 372 00:23:58,784 --> 00:24:02,060 Any way you do It's all right, baby 373 00:24:03,021 --> 00:24:04,524 Say it's all right 374 00:24:43,903 --> 00:24:45,576 I don't know why I'm so damn nervous. 375 00:24:45,739 --> 00:24:47,649 Are you nervous? 376 00:24:48,441 --> 00:24:49,682 Yeah, I'm nervous. 377 00:24:49,842 --> 00:24:51,687 -You're nervous? -Yes, I'm nervous. 378 00:24:52,079 --> 00:24:54,686 I kind of like that, you nervous. 379 00:24:55,348 --> 00:24:59,856 -You're not nervous? -Nervous? No, I'm something else. 380 00:25:00,823 --> 00:25:02,496 -What? -What what? 381 00:25:03,226 --> 00:25:04,533 What "what" are you? 382 00:25:05,763 --> 00:25:07,867 You don't want to know what "what" I am. 383 00:25:08,031 --> 00:25:11,012 -I told you I was nervous, didn't I? -And I told you I wasn't. 384 00:25:11,168 --> 00:25:13,341 Yeah, but you didn't say what you are. 385 00:25:17,209 --> 00:25:18,881 So what are you? 386 00:25:20,279 --> 00:25:22,384 No, it would only make you more nervous. 387 00:25:22,548 --> 00:25:25,257 It ain't gonna make me any more nervous than that. 388 00:25:26,053 --> 00:25:30,023 -Okay, you want to know what I am? -Yes, I want to know what you are. 389 00:25:31,925 --> 00:25:33,064 I'm ambivalent. 390 00:25:33,594 --> 00:25:35,369 -Ambivalent? -Ambivalent. 391 00:25:35,530 --> 00:25:37,567 Okay? There you go. 392 00:25:37,732 --> 00:25:41,078 I feel very ambivalent about this. I'm filled with ambivalence. 393 00:25:41,236 --> 00:25:44,946 I'm not saying this to hurt you, but I just am. I am ambivalent. 394 00:25:45,376 --> 00:25:46,479 Feel better? 395 00:25:49,212 --> 00:25:52,592 -You do know what-- -I know what "ambivalence" means. 396 00:25:52,750 --> 00:25:54,322 -And? -And? 397 00:25:54,485 --> 00:25:58,559 And knowing I feel this way, how does that make you feel about this date? 398 00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,862 I feel fine about this date. 399 00:26:01,027 --> 00:26:05,101 I feel kind of ambivalent about your ambivalence. 400 00:26:05,265 --> 00:26:07,006 -Ambivalent? -Kind of. 401 00:26:07,167 --> 00:26:08,702 Kind of? What do you mean kind of? 402 00:26:12,707 --> 00:26:15,017 -I don't want to do this. -Excuse me? 403 00:26:15,176 --> 00:26:18,283 -I don't want to do this. -Wait a minute, do what? 404 00:26:18,447 --> 00:26:20,188 Wiki 405 00:26:20,349 --> 00:26:23,262 "l don't want to do this"'? Is "this" this date? 406 00:26:23,453 --> 00:26:26,195 "This" means this conversation. I don't wanna have this conversation. 407 00:26:26,356 --> 00:26:28,358 Why not? This is ... conversation to have 408 00:26:28,525 --> 00:26:30,473 There's no reason to be ambivalent about it. 409 00:26:30,629 --> 00:26:32,266 -Well, I am. -Why? 410 00:26:32,431 --> 00:26:34,171 -Because. -Because why? 411 00:26:35,467 --> 00:26:37,777 -Because I know how it's gonna go. -You do? 412 00:26:37,936 --> 00:26:40,850 I do. You're gonna say something, then I'm gonna say something... 413 00:26:41,007 --> 00:26:44,387 ...then you're gonna get mad. I promised I wouldn't get you mad. 414 00:26:44,545 --> 00:26:47,254 -I'm not gonna get mad. -That's how these conversations work. 415 00:26:47,415 --> 00:26:50,659 They're a test and I always fail. I don't want to fail but I do. 416 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:54,562 -I say something, then you get mad. -I'm not gonna get mad. 417 00:26:54,723 --> 00:26:57,534 It's always a test with you. You're waiting for me to screw up. 418 00:26:57,693 --> 00:27:01,141 I'm not stepping into it. I'm not. I won't. This date means too much to me... 419 00:27:01,298 --> 00:27:04,678 ...and we both know that this date is a test, it's a trap, it's a setup. 420 00:27:04,834 --> 00:27:08,078 You're sitting over there waiting for me to screw up, aren't you? 421 00:27:10,142 --> 00:27:12,748 Wait a minute, where are you going? What about our date? 422 00:27:26,060 --> 00:27:27,698 Life's a bitch. 423 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:38,713 Maddie. 424 00:27:41,212 --> 00:27:44,954 Can't help thinking that somehow that didn't come out the way I meant it. 425 00:27:52,024 --> 00:27:54,163 Yo, Maddie. 426 00:28:01,401 --> 00:28:02,938 Maddie, what about our date? 427 00:28:03,104 --> 00:28:05,311 Go away. 428 00:28:05,773 --> 00:28:07,446 Go away? 429 00:28:07,742 --> 00:28:10,849 Go away? You don't really want me to go away! Do you? 430 00:28:11,013 --> 00:28:13,893 it's gonna make it awful hard to hold hands. 431 00:28:14,084 --> 00:28:16,360 It's gonna make it very tough to neck. 432 00:28:16,519 --> 00:28:20,195 It's gonna make it impossible for me to give you a hickey. 433 00:28:20,358 --> 00:28:22,304 You don't really want me to go away, do you? 434 00:28:22,460 --> 00:28:25,442 Yes, I do. I want you to go away. 435 00:28:26,430 --> 00:28:29,003 Well, I don't mind telling you... 436 00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:32,843 ...that me and my dating-game chaperone are a little miffed. 437 00:28:33,940 --> 00:28:37,218 Put out. Cut to the quick. 438 00:28:39,213 --> 00:28:42,127 Come on, Maddie, this is the cute stuff. 439 00:28:45,521 --> 00:28:48,628 Maddie, come on. I know you're in there. 440 00:28:48,792 --> 00:28:50,395 Come on out. 441 00:28:53,263 --> 00:28:54,605 Okay, fine. 442 00:28:54,764 --> 00:28:58,008 You don't wanna come out? It's fine. 443 00:28:58,168 --> 00:29:01,343 ...cos I'm not gonna stand here all night begging you to come out. 444 00:29:01,506 --> 00:29:03,645 No sirree, Bob. 445 00:29:03,808 --> 00:29:08,281 I mean, sure, I wanted to give this date thing a try. 446 00:29:08,448 --> 00:29:10,758 Wanted to see if we could work it out. 447 00:29:11,617 --> 00:29:14,156 But if you're not gonna even come out here... 448 00:29:14,319 --> 00:29:17,301 ...I'm not gonna stand out here begging all night. 449 00:29:21,530 --> 00:29:23,270 So I'm going. 450 00:29:25,734 --> 00:29:28,806 Goodbye, Maddie. This is it. I'm leaving. 451 00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:30,713 Goodbye. 452 00:29:36,548 --> 00:29:39,462 Hey what the...? Hey pal what do you get...? 453 00:29:39,616 --> 00:29:42,392 Get out of there. What are you doing hiding in those bushes? 454 00:29:42,553 --> 00:29:46,230 Oh, my God, is that a knife? It is a knife. 455 00:29:46,392 --> 00:29:48,463 It's a big knife. 456 00:29:49,563 --> 00:29:50,870 No way, man. 457 00:29:51,030 --> 00:29:53,636 No way you're gonna get in this house and Ginsu that woman. 458 00:29:53,799 --> 00:29:55,371 Not over my dead body. 459 00:29:55,536 --> 00:29:56,946 What the--? 460 00:29:59,306 --> 00:30:00,844 Yeah, well, here, take that. 461 00:30:01,009 --> 00:30:03,114 And that! And here's some for your head! 462 00:30:04,681 --> 00:30:06,524 Oh, God. 463 00:30:08,150 --> 00:30:10,927 Wow! Maddy stay in the house! 464 00:30:11,287 --> 00:30:13,563 Okay, not my eye. 465 00:30:26,305 --> 00:30:29,287 I guess you never messed with a detective before, huh? 466 00:30:29,443 --> 00:30:33,482 Maddie, don't open the door. Just stay in the house. 467 00:30:33,647 --> 00:30:36,423 Just stay in the house. We got a dangerous criminal out here. 468 00:30:36,583 --> 00:30:39,030 I got him immobilized right now, but he's-- 469 00:30:39,187 --> 00:30:40,667 He still could be dangerous. 470 00:30:40,823 --> 00:30:45,033 Just stay in the house, call the police. I'll just stay out here with this guy. 471 00:30:45,194 --> 00:30:48,074 Hey, wait a minute. 472 00:30:48,231 --> 00:30:49,937 VVhat's that? 473 00:30:50,099 --> 00:30:52,671 Oh, my God, he's bleeding from the back of the head. 474 00:30:52,836 --> 00:30:54,909 Hang on, she's coming right out. Maddie... 475 00:30:55,073 --> 00:30:58,645 ...come on, looking like a Sam Peckinpah movie out here. 476 00:31:00,212 --> 00:31:01,349 Maddie, come on-- 477 00:31:01,513 --> 00:31:03,654 Hang on there pal! She's not gonna let a man die 478 00:31:03,817 --> 00:31:06,297 Maddie, will you come on? 479 00:31:07,587 --> 00:31:10,762 Maddie, the man is-- Last rites? 480 00:31:10,925 --> 00:31:14,169 I don't know how to give last rites. Besides, you don't need last rites. 481 00:31:14,329 --> 00:31:16,400 She'll come through that door any minute now... 482 00:31:16,565 --> 00:31:18,977 ...with Ace bandages and Bactine. 483 00:31:19,735 --> 00:31:22,876 Maddie, come on, come on, we're losing him. 484 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,247 But I'm not a priest! 485 00:31:26,311 --> 00:31:29,621 All right, all right, here I go. 486 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:34,662 Now l lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord, my soul to kee-- 487 00:31:34,952 --> 00:31:36,524 Oh, no. 488 00:31:36,889 --> 00:31:38,596 Oh, no, Maddie. 489 00:31:38,757 --> 00:31:44,367 Oh, no. No, no, no. 490 00:31:44,531 --> 00:31:46,568 Maddie, he's dying. 491 00:31:47,434 --> 00:31:49,813 He's dying, Maddie. 492 00:31:49,971 --> 00:31:53,215 Come on out and take a look, and let me know if he's dying. 493 00:31:56,746 --> 00:31:58,656 Maddie, you coming? 494 00:31:59,716 --> 00:32:03,128 Look, forget about that. You don't wanna see a dead body anyway. 495 00:32:03,286 --> 00:32:04,857 Look, just... 496 00:32:05,022 --> 00:32:06,968 ...come on down here, cover your eyes... 497 00:32:07,124 --> 00:32:09,730 ...and step over the body, and show me where the hose is... 498 00:32:09,893 --> 00:32:12,875 ...so I can rinse this blood and brains off here. 499 00:32:15,735 --> 00:32:17,270 Maddie? 500 00:32:21,842 --> 00:32:24,516 Okay. Fine. 501 00:32:24,679 --> 00:32:26,351 You're not coming out? Fine. 502 00:32:26,513 --> 00:32:27,959 Great. That's just great. 503 00:32:28,117 --> 00:32:30,461 You got a dead man out here on your porch... 504 00:32:30,619 --> 00:32:33,726 ...and you will not even come out and take a look at him. 505 00:32:33,890 --> 00:32:36,393 How am I gonna tell you honey? That's cold. 506 00:32:36,559 --> 00:32:39,698 That is very, very cold. 507 00:32:39,862 --> 00:32:42,901 Not as cold as this guy here, but that is cold. 508 00:32:43,266 --> 00:32:44,803 All right. 509 00:32:46,937 --> 00:32:49,076 I guess I'll just have to take care of it myself. 510 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,186 I'll just drag this guy down to the curb... 511 00:32:51,342 --> 00:32:53,983 ...and leave him there for the garbage man, how's that? 512 00:32:54,513 --> 00:32:56,493 That make you happy? 513 00:33:08,730 --> 00:33:13,839 Forget it. Forget you, forget me, forget this. 514 00:33:17,273 --> 00:33:20,483 So where's this guy? 515 00:33:26,985 --> 00:33:30,024 Yeah, that was just a superficial flesh wound. 516 00:33:30,190 --> 00:33:32,192 He's down the street robbing some other house. 517 00:33:34,728 --> 00:33:37,732 So if we went on this date, where would we go? 518 00:33:37,898 --> 00:33:39,308 Where? 519 00:33:40,368 --> 00:33:42,244 Anywhere. Where would you like to go? 520 00:33:42,403 --> 00:33:44,213 I don't know. I 'm not even sure I want to go. 521 00:33:44,371 --> 00:33:45,977 Movie? Want to go to the movies? 522 00:33:46,141 --> 00:33:48,143 It's after 9:00, everything's started. 523 00:33:48,310 --> 00:33:50,221 Dinner? Go get some din-din. 524 00:33:50,379 --> 00:33:53,223 It's a weeknight and it's late and we don't have a reservation. 525 00:33:53,816 --> 00:33:56,160 Bowling alley, pool hall, a bar, anywhere. 526 00:33:56,319 --> 00:33:58,595 -Something's bound to be-- -No bars. Lord, no bars. 527 00:33:58,755 --> 00:34:02,226 -Just come with me. No bars. -No bars. Not with you. No bars. 528 00:34:02,393 --> 00:34:05,671 No bars. Of course not. Hate them. No bars. 529 00:34:07,065 --> 00:34:08,602 I'll get my bag. 530 00:34:08,768 --> 00:34:10,577 Get your bag. 531 00:34:10,736 --> 00:34:13,182 I'll wait here. 532 00:34:13,940 --> 00:34:15,748 Guard the door. 533 00:34:16,109 --> 00:34:17,646 In case that guy comes back. 534 00:34:20,314 --> 00:34:23,626 See? I told you we'd find something. Come on. 535 00:34:29,958 --> 00:34:31,997 -Pretty neat, huh? -No doubt about it. 536 00:34:32,895 --> 00:34:35,376 -Definitely worth the wait. -What are you talking about? 537 00:34:35,532 --> 00:34:37,240 This place is a Shangri-Ia. 538 00:34:37,401 --> 00:34:41,008 Look at that sign, open 24 hours. Got some gourmet food here... 539 00:34:41,172 --> 00:34:44,211 ...refreshing soft drinks. Pay phone in case you wanna make a call. 540 00:34:44,376 --> 00:34:48,325 All the heat you need, and in case we do anything that makes us dirty... 541 00:34:48,481 --> 00:34:51,486 ...we can tidy up right here. This is better than a Hilton. 542 00:34:51,652 --> 00:34:53,563 -You spoil me. -You don't like it. 543 00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:55,198 Don't be ridiculous. 544 00:34:55,354 --> 00:34:57,664 All my life I've been wanting to come here. 545 00:34:57,825 --> 00:35:00,137 And to think, we have the whole place to ourselves. 546 00:35:03,297 --> 00:35:04,436 I'm sorry. 547 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,581 I know how important this is to you and I'm not helping much, am I? 548 00:35:11,141 --> 00:35:13,782 Don't shrug. There's nothing to shrug about. 549 00:35:13,945 --> 00:35:15,891 For once, you really tried to be nice. 550 00:35:16,047 --> 00:35:18,186 ...and I'm being what you would call a "bitch." 551 00:35:19,751 --> 00:35:22,596 Surprise, surprise, what can I say? I'm not a very nice person. 552 00:35:22,753 --> 00:35:25,031 I mean, I have my moments, but .... 553 00:35:28,694 --> 00:35:31,176 Now's when you're supposed to jump in and say... 554 00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:33,243 ...that I'm really not a bitch... 555 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,505 and I'm one of the nicest people you 've ever met 556 00:35:35,669 --> 00:35:38,172 I can't. You're not. 557 00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:42,016 Brutal honesty and a lack of tact. I like that in my failed relationships. 558 00:35:42,178 --> 00:35:43,987 Now, you see, that's funny. That's sharp. 559 00:35:44,146 --> 00:35:46,717 Do you ever get that funny or that sharp with anyone else? 560 00:35:46,883 --> 00:35:49,831 -No, I don't think so. -You're right. We should stay together. 561 00:35:49,987 --> 00:35:52,935 We have to stay together. I mean, think of the banter. 562 00:35:53,091 --> 00:35:56,663 You're kidding and I'm serious. Don't you get it? 563 00:35:56,827 --> 00:35:59,002 I don't get any better than when I'm with you... 564 00:35:59,164 --> 00:36:01,735 ...and you don't get any better than when you're with me. 565 00:36:01,902 --> 00:36:03,403 If this is as good as life gets-- 566 00:36:03,569 --> 00:36:07,347 I'm not saying this is as good as life gets, what I'm saying is .... 567 00:36:08,207 --> 00:36:11,451 I dont know what I 'm saying. I 'm saying that... 568 00:36:11,611 --> 00:36:16,219 ...you know my garbage, good and bad... 569 00:36:16,383 --> 00:36:19,729 ...and I know yours. I knew it the minute I met you. 570 00:36:20,155 --> 00:36:22,294 And I knew you read me the minute you met me. 571 00:36:22,457 --> 00:36:24,564 -That I did. -Well, that's the point. 572 00:36:24,726 --> 00:36:27,140 Nobody reads me. Nobody gets to me. 573 00:36:27,298 --> 00:36:29,005 And you .... 574 00:36:30,201 --> 00:36:33,613 You're about as cool as they come. But you can't deny it, Maddie... 575 00:36:33,771 --> 00:36:36,753 ...you got a bad case of me, and I got a bad case of you... 576 00:36:36,908 --> 00:36:39,821 and I never had a bad case of anyone... 577 00:36:39,978 --> 00:36:41,821 What makes you think I have a case of you? 578 00:36:41,980 --> 00:36:44,962 Because you're here in a Laundromat... 579 00:36:45,451 --> 00:36:47,453 ...at 2:00 in the morning. VVho's kidding who? 580 00:36:47,620 --> 00:36:49,932 If you weren't interested in what I had to say... 581 00:36:50,089 --> 00:36:53,629 ...you'd be out that door, climbing in your car, and cruising home. 582 00:36:55,762 --> 00:36:57,903 Excuse me! Where are you going? 583 00:36:58,067 --> 00:37:00,912 I'm walking out the door, climbing in my car, and cruising home. 584 00:37:01,071 --> 00:37:04,483 You were right the first time. You are a bitch. 585 00:37:05,175 --> 00:37:07,348 Right, and what are you? At least I'm honest. 586 00:37:07,510 --> 00:37:10,457 At least I can look you in the eye and say, "Fine this is great. 587 00:37:10,615 --> 00:37:11,959 This is wonderful." 588 00:37:12,117 --> 00:37:16,259 But this is too much work for me. This is too hard. 589 00:37:16,421 --> 00:37:21,131 Every moment, every second, every word, every breath is like some test. 590 00:37:21,794 --> 00:37:24,832 If this is love, it's too hard. If this is love, I'll live without it. 591 00:37:24,998 --> 00:37:27,536 -Then that's it. -That's it. I'm numb, David. I'm raw. 592 00:37:27,701 --> 00:37:31,013 You love this kind of friction. I can't live with this. 593 00:37:31,172 --> 00:37:33,448 Yeah, fine, I love you. 594 00:37:33,608 --> 00:37:36,886 So one more big surprise. But it hurts too much... 595 00:37:37,046 --> 00:37:40,085 ...it tears too much. I just can't do this. I'm just not up to this. 596 00:37:40,250 --> 00:37:42,958 -You underestimate yourself. -No, I don't. I know myself. 597 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:47,729 I know my limits. I'm dead on, David, and this-- You are beyond my limits. 598 00:37:48,292 --> 00:37:52,034 This relationship. This thing we have. Whatever you wanna call it... 599 00:37:52,196 --> 00:37:55,040 ...it only has two temperatures, white hot or icy cold. 600 00:37:55,199 --> 00:37:56,737 I can't function that way. 601 00:37:56,903 --> 00:37:59,645 I need some middle. And the few there is no middle. 602 00:37:59,806 --> 00:38:03,084 I know what it's like to be in a Laundromat with you at 2 a.m. 603 00:38:03,242 --> 00:38:06,156 I know what it's like to be in bed with you for 14 hours. 604 00:38:06,312 --> 00:38:10,490 What I don't know is what's it's like to go into a coffee shop at noon... 605 00:38:10,652 --> 00:38:15,123 ...and order cheeseburgers, or what it's like to go to a store together and buy... 606 00:38:15,290 --> 00:38:17,793 -...I don't know, something. -You want cheeseburgers... 607 00:38:17,959 --> 00:38:21,066 ...I'll take you out and get burgers. You want to go buy something-- 608 00:38:21,230 --> 00:38:22,643 -I understand. -No, you don't. 609 00:38:24,735 --> 00:38:28,547 This is me telling you it's over. It's over David. Period. 610 00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:32,044 I'll sell the agency, you'll find a new job. 611 00:38:33,312 --> 00:38:37,886 It's important for my mental health that we get out of each other's lives. 612 00:38:47,596 --> 00:38:48,972 Say something. 613 00:38:52,301 --> 00:38:53,406 Please? 614 00:38:57,574 --> 00:38:58,781 I hate Muzak. 615 00:38:59,210 --> 00:39:01,884 Don't go! I have to go! 616 00:39:02,312 --> 00:39:03,917 Dance with me. 617 00:39:04,316 --> 00:39:06,922 You 've used all that line with me before David, it's not gonna work. 618 00:39:07,085 --> 00:39:10,124 It always works. Has to work. 619 00:39:11,890 --> 00:39:13,428 Okay, so it doesn't work. 620 00:39:13,592 --> 00:39:18,304 So, what, this is the end? This is goodbye? 621 00:39:18,465 --> 00:39:22,811 Not even a goodbye dance? Got music. 622 00:39:25,673 --> 00:39:27,415 Got mood. 623 00:39:28,176 --> 00:39:29,554 Come on. 624 00:39:30,378 --> 00:39:34,418 It's the end of the summer, our last night together... 625 00:39:34,584 --> 00:39:36,756 ...told each other how much we love each other... 626 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,764 ...but we decided to go to different colleges anyway. 627 00:39:39,923 --> 00:39:41,664 We gotta dance. 628 00:39:55,309 --> 00:39:58,119 -I hate you, David. -Yeah? 629 00:39:58,678 --> 00:40:01,092 Already played that scene too. 630 00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:04,296 If you could do anything, what would you do? 631 00:40:04,451 --> 00:40:06,558 -End it. -Second choice. 632 00:40:06,722 --> 00:40:09,636 I don't know. Go to some European country. 633 00:40:09,791 --> 00:40:12,399 Run and hide. Hide under a bed. 634 00:40:13,462 --> 00:40:17,810 Think. I want to be sure. I'm not sure of anything. 635 00:40:19,036 --> 00:40:21,984 Not even about ending it. 636 00:40:22,140 --> 00:40:24,142 Well, then, let's not end it. 637 00:40:24,309 --> 00:40:26,119 I love you, Maddie. 638 00:40:28,547 --> 00:40:32,019 -I love you, David. -Well, then, let's keep trying. 639 00:40:33,220 --> 00:40:35,860 I can't dance to this. 640 00:40:42,497 --> 00:40:44,271 Want a ride home? 641 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,641 You wanna be alone, don't you? 642 00:40:49,104 --> 00:40:51,211 No, I'll just take a cab. 643 00:41:00,484 --> 00:41:03,126 I'm sorry, I know you want an answer. 644 00:41:03,287 --> 00:41:04,426 I can't give you one. 645 00:41:07,460 --> 00:41:10,499 I need to think. I'm a thinker, David. 646 00:41:10,831 --> 00:41:12,104 Okay. 647 00:41:16,337 --> 00:41:18,840 -I don't know what's gonna happen! -OK 648 00:41:25,348 --> 00:41:27,851 You're not gonna dance here with anyone else, are you? 649 00:41:31,955 --> 00:41:33,526 Better not. 650 00:42:10,833 --> 00:42:13,042 That's it. You see that? You see that? 651 00:42:13,204 --> 00:42:16,674 She wants to know where the relationship is going. 652 00:42:16,841 --> 00:42:20,221 She, has made a go, to ask me... 653 00:42:20,379 --> 00:42:23,326 ...where the relationship is going... 654 00:42:23,483 --> 00:42:26,761 You want to know where the relationship is going? 655 00:42:26,921 --> 00:42:29,731 I'll tell you where it's going. it's going to the moon! 656 00:42:29,890 --> 00:42:31,870 Fine, Ralph, you wanna be angry, be angry. 657 00:42:32,026 --> 00:42:33,835 But I'm not gonna stay and be angry. 658 00:42:33,995 --> 00:42:36,475 Trixie, mind if I stay at your place tonight? 659 00:42:36,630 --> 00:42:38,871 -Fine Alice. -Wait a second, wait a second... 660 00:42:39,033 --> 00:42:42,015 ...you think I'm just gonna let you waltz out of here like that? 661 00:42:42,170 --> 00:42:44,514 You walk out of that door over my dead body. 662 00:42:44,974 --> 00:42:46,955 Fine, Ralph. You're right. 663 00:42:47,112 --> 00:42:49,113 I can't walk out of here over your dead body. 664 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,452 I'd have to fly out. 665 00:42:54,419 --> 00:42:58,061 Lady. Lady, we're here. 666 00:43:00,794 --> 00:43:03,206 You want me to get your bags? 667 00:43:03,363 --> 00:43:05,274 Yes, please. 668 00:43:06,999 --> 00:43:09,482 -Can I help you? -I'd like to go to a foreign country... 669 00:43:09,638 --> 00:43:10,707 ...hide under a bed. 670 00:43:12,141 --> 00:43:14,121 It's OK. I never carry a passport with me. 671 00:43:14,276 --> 00:43:15,879 Do you have a schedule for domestic flights? 672 00:43:16,044 --> 00:43:18,285 You walk out of that door over my dead body. 673 00:43:18,714 --> 00:43:20,753 Fine, Ralph. You're right. 674 00:43:20,918 --> 00:43:22,919 I can't walk out of here over your dead body. 675 00:43:23,087 --> 00:43:25,431 I'd have to fly out. 676 00:43:29,592 --> 00:43:34,601 Oh, just once. Just once...right in the kisser. 677 00:43:35,132 --> 00:43:36,943 You got a real problem here, Ralphie boy. 678 00:43:37,103 --> 00:43:38,980 You said it, pal of mine. 679 00:43:39,138 --> 00:43:42,279 "Where is the relationship going?" What kind of question is that? 680 00:43:42,443 --> 00:43:45,721 Anybody takes one look around, you can see where it's going. 681 00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,586 Yeah, the Museum of Natural History. 682 00:43:49,917 --> 00:43:52,364 I got a great place here, Norton. I got a great job. 683 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,126 I'm in the fast track. Anybody can see that. 684 00:43:55,290 --> 00:43:58,204 I can see that. Maybe that's not what she means. 685 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,670 What do you mean, "maybe that's not what she means"'? 686 00:44:00,830 --> 00:44:02,971 -What do you think she means? -I don't know. 687 00:44:03,134 --> 00:44:05,843 Maybe all this material wealth you got here ain't the issue. 688 00:44:06,004 --> 00:44:07,277 -Oh, no? -No. 689 00:44:07,438 --> 00:44:11,887 Maybe Alice is talking about something that's a little more spiritual. 690 00:44:12,043 --> 00:44:14,389 -Spiritual? -Yeah. 691 00:44:14,545 --> 00:44:17,652 You know, we got a saying in the sewers, Ralphie: 692 00:44:17,816 --> 00:44:19,695 "Still waters don't necessarily run deep." 693 00:44:19,854 --> 00:44:23,893 Will you stop with that? You gotta help me here, Norton. 694 00:44:24,058 --> 00:44:26,698 She wants to know where it's going. I don't know where. 695 00:44:26,861 --> 00:44:29,068 -I don't know what to tell her. -Sure, you do. 696 00:44:29,230 --> 00:44:31,403 -Just tell her the truth. -Tell her the truth. 697 00:44:31,565 --> 00:44:32,875 How am I gonna do that? 698 00:44:33,035 --> 00:44:35,709 I never spend time thinking about where it's going. 699 00:44:35,872 --> 00:44:38,649 Let me show you 700 00:44:38,809 --> 00:44:41,517 -You be you. I'll be Alice. -What do you mean? 701 00:44:41,980 --> 00:44:45,791 Just what I said. You're Ralph. I'm Alice. 702 00:44:58,031 --> 00:45:00,170 Will you come on? 703 00:45:02,003 --> 00:45:04,210 You space cadet. 704 00:45:04,606 --> 00:45:07,984 Okay, okay. You're Alice, I'm me. 705 00:45:10,146 --> 00:45:11,624 Alice... 706 00:45:12,114 --> 00:45:15,996 ...this is where I think the relationship's going. 707 00:45:16,153 --> 00:45:19,531 I think it's going forward. 708 00:45:19,689 --> 00:45:23,228 I like to think of this relationship like it's a big city bus. 709 00:45:23,394 --> 00:45:26,809 A big, big city bus and I'm the driver, see? 710 00:45:26,966 --> 00:45:32,645 I kind of sit up there, right in front, kind of steer things. 711 00:45:33,073 --> 00:45:34,677 -You're sitting up front? -Up front. 712 00:45:34,841 --> 00:45:36,581 -And where do I sit? -Anywhere you want. 713 00:45:36,742 --> 00:45:38,121 -Anywhere I want? -That's right. 714 00:45:38,279 --> 00:45:40,019 Of course, with you sitting up front... 715 00:45:40,180 --> 00:45:42,456 And they dont leave room for anyone else to see. 716 00:45:42,617 --> 00:45:44,325 That's what Alice would say, Ralph. 717 00:45:47,123 --> 00:45:49,831 -You know what it means, Norton. -Oh, come on, don't get mad. 718 00:45:49,993 --> 00:45:51,995 -You know what it means. -I'm trying to help-- 719 00:45:52,162 --> 00:45:54,403 -Get out! -All right, all right, all right. 720 00:45:54,564 --> 00:45:58,480 But Alice don't want to hear about the relationship being a bus. 721 00:46:00,004 --> 00:46:01,607 Well, then .... 722 00:46:02,941 --> 00:46:06,081 I don't know what to tell her, Norton. I'm crazy about her. 723 00:46:06,246 --> 00:46:09,056 I'm nuts about her. Can't she see that? 724 00:46:09,215 --> 00:46:12,026 I mean, there I am, all day long... 725 00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:14,962 ...driving that bus up and down Madison Avenue. 726 00:46:15,122 --> 00:46:19,298 Women getting on, women getting off, and all I can think of is her. 727 00:46:19,460 --> 00:46:22,999 Sometimes, down at the bus station... 728 00:46:23,165 --> 00:46:25,406 ...a couple boys start running down their wives. 729 00:46:25,568 --> 00:46:28,344 You know what i say to myself. I say Crandon... 730 00:46:28,504 --> 00:46:29,709 ...you're a lucky man. 731 00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:34,415 When the chips are down, Alice is there. 732 00:46:34,579 --> 00:46:38,583 When the times are good, Alice is there." 733 00:46:39,517 --> 00:46:41,497 You may not believe this, Norton... 734 00:46:41,653 --> 00:46:45,101 ...but sometimes, I 'm not a real bargain to live with. 735 00:46:45,792 --> 00:46:46,792 Yes I know... 736 00:46:46,959 --> 00:46:50,066 It's hard to believe, but it's true 737 00:46:51,031 --> 00:46:52,874 I don't know what I'd do without her. 738 00:46:53,033 --> 00:46:54,876 Why don't you tell her what you just said? 739 00:46:55,035 --> 00:46:57,608 -What do you mean? -Yeah, what you just said there. 740 00:46:57,771 --> 00:46:59,719 -That was beautiful. -What I just said here? 741 00:46:59,875 --> 00:47:01,148 Yeah. 742 00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:04,348 You're right, pal of mine, that is what she wants to hear. 743 00:47:04,513 --> 00:47:06,254 Get her down here. 744 00:47:07,650 --> 00:47:11,121 Trixie? Trixie, send Alice down here a minute, will you? 745 00:47:11,288 --> 00:47:13,632 And have her bring some extra Kleenexes here. 746 00:47:13,792 --> 00:47:15,793 Right, pal, forget about all that bus stuff... 747 00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,734 ...just tell her what she wants to hear. 748 00:47:17,895 --> 00:47:20,341 I can't send her down, Ed. 749 00:47:20,498 --> 00:47:22,035 What do you mean, you can't? 750 00:47:22,201 --> 00:47:23,508 What do you mean, you can't? 751 00:47:23,668 --> 00:47:26,411 I order her to come down here. I want to tell her I love her. 752 00:47:26,572 --> 00:47:28,984 Trixie, tell Alice that's an order. 753 00:47:29,141 --> 00:47:33,023 Well, order or not, she isn't coming down. She left. 754 00:47:33,181 --> 00:47:35,057 -Left? -Left? What do you mean left? 755 00:47:35,216 --> 00:47:37,856 -Where did she leave to? -She called a taxi for the airport. 756 00:47:38,019 --> 00:47:41,092 Said she needed to get away and think things over... 757 00:47:41,256 --> 00:47:43,759 ...figure out where the relationship was going. 758 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,126 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 759 00:47:47,176 --> 00:47:51,726 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0